Fashion and a Fearful Future for Children

People seem to wear a variety of things to cover up their top and bottom parts. Some of them are quite attractive. I like “shirts” with stripes. But one style I’ve noticed recently has been quite troublesome: camouflage. I find it disturbing in general, but especially for children. Camouflage is designed to blend into the environment, yet I can see these ridiculous people with little to no effort. Enemies would have a field day.

After much thought and a lengthy trip to the library, I’ve concluded there are only two explanations for this choice of children's clothing. The first is preparation for war. Patriotic parents are apparently developing their children into soldiers for future combat. Once these youngsters grow to like the camouflage, they’ll be anxious to wear it as adults. And where better than the army? Seven days a week!

The second conclusion I’ve reached is that parents are preparing to abandon their children in the woods. Possibly to be raised by elk, like me. However, I wore no camouflage, instead I was dressed in a faded “Foghat” concert tee-shirt and blue jeans when I was left on my own. I suspect that the camouflage is intended hide them from search parties. Since elk rely more on their sense of smell, they’ll find the poor children without difficulty. Although I’ve seen some children wearing blue camouflage, which can only mean they’ll be thrown into the waters to be raised by fish.

I wish these children well.